Wow! 2 years have passed. Life went on and I am still very much childless.
Went for an adoption briefing with the hubster few months back. Am thinking of adopting but unfortunately it is a quite a tedious process here in Singapore. But, I am leaning that way than trying to have a child of my own.
I have accepted the fact that I can never have my own child.
No, I have not totally turned to stone on the inside.
I still have a little cry sometimes when I go to sleep.
I still cry when I see newborns abandoned.
I still have a small tiny hope in me that one day, a miracle will happen.
I still am very much jealous when I see people around me get pregnant.
But...
Life goes on. I try to see the positive side of not having a child. I can go for holiday anytime I want. I can spend all my money on myself. I don't have to think about childcare, milk powder and diapers.
But yet.
Why do I still long for a child?
Denial?
Very much so.
